The Mental Health Chronicles: Growing Pains
Updated: Oct 12, 2020
Anyone that knows me knows that I have a habit of putting too much on my plate. I pride myself the most in my hard work. My whole life has been about grinding to become successful right out of college so that I can give back to my family. The moment I got into high school my mindset was already all about making money and working to get into a good university. I always acknowledged the fact that I overwork myself but I’ve never actually done anything about it. Despite my grind being my favorite quality about myself, I will admit that it has made me too stubborn to ever give my body and mind a break.
After nonstop years of work, I am finally graduating this coming December. This is what I’ve been building up to my entire life: getting a job after graduation and starting the rest of my life. I’ve been rushing this time for so long, but now that it’s here, I’ve come to realize that I have so much more time than I think. This is “the rest of my life.”
The beginning of my Summer break this year was spent in the Philippines for three weeks. Once I got back, I went straight into working again. I didn’t hang out with any of my friends for weeks and got into a place where I questioned if I really even had any. Is all of this work worth it if it distances me from my loved ones? A month away from the beginning of my final semester, I finally started to make time for my friends. I was reminded of how loved I am. The doubt that I’ve carried about my relationships for months has diminished. I do have genuine people in my life that treasure me. I’m not alone in any of my struggles. The love I’ve experienced within the past few weeks makes me feel like I can move mountains. Part of that newfound strength doesn’t mean that I’m going to work harder, but it does mean that I’m going to work smarter.
I will allow myself breaks for both my mental and physical health. I will learn to fall back on loved ones in times of need. I will take it slow.
There’s still so much that I want to do: make films, act, travel, write, perfect my craft. I have the rest of my life to get everything together. It’s not about rushing the process; it’s about enjoying the things that make up that process.
Thank you to my family (especially my cousins!), Puneet Grewal, Ivan Cortes, Hannah Jumamoy, Audrey Rivera, Mario Villanueva, Gabrielle Castaneda, David Doria, Emily Estrada, Mika Olaguer, Karina Bran, Hazel Basa, Alondra Torres, Brandon Baza, James Dumlao, Jamielyn Gonzales, Amber Bailey, Aaron Hunter, Katrina Monje, Katrina Chan, Cyrill Castro, Gabby Bala, Kiko Valle, and sosososo many more people for making me feel loved. It’s so relieving to know that I’m worth being excited over when I’m seen.
All of my loved ones give me a reason to take it easy. You all make life easier to bear. Thank you for reminding me that I am never alone.