As of today, I am officially 50 days into being diagnosed with bi-polar II, 50 days into medication, and 50 days into acceptance and self-care. It's been exactly a month since I decided to share that journey with the world and I have had no regrets about it. I know that not everyone will take the time to read this, but I also know that there's at least one person that will benefit from taking the time to read these blog posts. So here's my quick update:
I wish I could tell you guys that taking meds solved all of my problems. The truth of the matter is, nothing will ever truly take away my bi-polar. I still get depressed. I still have the worst types of thoughts. I still have anxiety attacks. Shoot, I'm going through a depressive episode right now. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I'm even taking the right medication. Bipolar is still very much present in my life. But the difference now is that I have hope and I have acceptance. To some of you, that might sound like inspirational bullshit, but hear me out; 51 days ago, I didn't have either of those things. And it truly does make more of a difference than you think. I used to not know how to deal with this at all and became cynical about life itself. What was the point? I only put myself through this so that I can provide better for the ones before and after me.
But now I have the will to power through. I am not my illness. My illness got nothin' on me. I am strong, I am capable. I am hopeful. And I love myself. I'm doing this for me now. No damn chemical imbalance can take that away from me. So cheers to 50 days!
Side note: I know self-promotion borders on excess but the second episode of my audio project shares what I've learned through this journey and a message that I really, really want to share to as many people as possible. So please give it a listen, let me know what you think, and share it with a homie. Much love, ya'll
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